Ndejje Etiquette

Etiquette in Ndejje, Uganda is, not surprisingly, different from etiquette at home. Stevie and I are slowly learning a new set of ‘good manners,’ but they take some getting used to.

Ugandans are very generous people. They give whatever they can, whether that is a soda, dinner, or simply a big smile from a stranger walking down the street. People take pride in their ability to give, and as we have learned, it is impolite to refuse these acts of friendship. This is all wonderful until you apply these manners to food and drinks.

Stevie and I have been invited to a couple of meals at friends’ houses, and we’ve quickly learned to come with empty stomachs. Our friends bring out large portions of Ugandan food and we happily eat. But then out comes another course, and another, and another until we’ve sampled all varieties of Ugandan cuisine. By the end of the meal we are on the verge of bursting.

Feeling obliged to accept generosity is also dangerous when it comes to drinks. At one of our delicious, button-popping meals at a student’s house, his older brother offered us a glass of wine. Stevie and I were both happy to accept, but grew wary when he came out with a bottle of sherry. He poured us large glasses and kept on topping them off throughout the meal. Needless to say, we were both pretty tipsy by the end of the night. As we were leaving, the student told us we looked really tired. “Or something like that,” Stevie replied.

Once you are invited into someone’s house, you are expected to return regularly and unannounced. In fact, the host might be insulted if you fail to make these unexpected house calls, thinking that his/her cooking or company was not up to par. We have had several people over and, being the polite people that they are, they all stop by often and unannounced. These visits are usually a welcome surprise, except when we are cooking. Cooking takes a long time here, so when we are home the probability that we are cooking is pretty high. Now, if someone arrives while you are preparing a meal you are expected to ask them to stay and eat, even if you have not prepared enough food. Going back to the first new manner we learned here, it would be rude for them to refuse. At least a couple times a week, Stevie and I end up sharing our over-spiced concoctions with our surprise guests. Too polite to refuse the food or not finish it, they smile eat it even though they can hardly tolerate the taste (especially if it has black pepper) just as Stevie and I smile as we reluctantly divide our dinner onto more plates than two.

Flashing is routine in Ndejje. Fortunately, (or maybe unfortunately, depending on your penchant for public nudity) I do not mean exposing one’s self in public. Rather, I mean flashing someone on the phone. Phone credit here is precious and not to be wasted. When someone needs to get a hold of you but doesn’t have the phone credit to chit chat, they’ll call and hang up right away. This is a cue to call them back. It took me a while to catch on. For at least a couple of weeks I could not figure out why my phone would just ring once. Now, I’ve got the hang of it and have even started flashing people when my phone credit is low.

Since phone credit is like gold, phone calls are efficient matters. Hanging up on someone is not a sign of disrespect. Rather, it is normal. Once the caller has the information he/she needs, the phone call ends. There is no need to waste credit on unnecessary chit-chat or formalities. Stevie and I thought we were in big trouble one afternoon when the headmistress called us to ask if we were at school. When we said no, she promptly hung up. Our friend Jimbo, hearing the exchange from the headmistress’s side, later explained that she wasn’t mad; she simply didn’t need any more information from us and didn’t want to waste any more phone credit.

Religion is a common topic in casual conversations in Ndejje. In this community of refugees, everybody has a different background and a different story, and everybody is interested in learning about the newcomers. I am no longer surprised with the follow-up question to ‘How are you?’ is ‘what religion are you?’ On more than one occasion, people have asked Stevie and me if we are Muslim. Curious as to why everybody thinks we are Muslim, I asked one of the kids at Hope School. He told me that he thought we were Muslim because when we sit, we sometimes fold our legs in front of us (Indian style, though that is probably not the PC term).

I’m sure that we still have not picked up on a host of several social cues and manners, and we’ve probably accidentally offended a few people. When we return to the States, please don’t be too upset if I hang-up on you.

Youth Feature of the Week # 2

This is a special feature as Gideon is no longer at HOPE Primary School. But we felt his story and profile was worth sharing. Gideon lives in Nsambya (if you’re a loyal reader you’ll recognize that name as the location in Kampala SWB has another program in) and is a refugee from the DRC. Gideon’s father is around 70 years old and no longer able to work and his mother disappeared when he was young, so he held a job while attending Primary school in order to be able to pay his school fees, which was the only way he could attend school (a school taught in a language that he had to learn as he went along). This is another reason why HOPE is such a unique and amazing institution, because as much as it struggles to adequately pay its teachers or at times settle past debts, it won’t turn away students who cannot pay right away and offers a reduced price for refugee children. Back to Gideon. He casually and shyly told us he walked to school from Nsambya everyday (because he couldn’t afford to take a taxi, which costs 1,200 Uganda shillings – around 60 cents). In a taxi it takes around 50 minutes to get from Ndejje to Nsambya. He would wake up at 5am and start his journey without breakfast (and unfortunately was not be able to afford to eat lunch at school as well) and roll into school right around its start, which is 7:30 am. And after school he walked back home – and apparently never passed up playing football before his long journey back. It is reminiscent of our grandparents telling us how they used to walk a mile to school everyday…but minus the African heat and extremely unsavory road conditions (e.g. boda boda drivers, dusty dusty roads, etc.). It makes you feel guilty for cutting classes, no? It does for me! Gideon is an inspiration and I am truly hopeful he is able to find the funds to continue his education at the Secondary level. He certainly deserves it. Enjoy his profile below…

Name: Gideon Mambandi
Age: 16
Nationality: Congolese
Grade: 2009 P7 Graduate

“Where are you from in the Congo, do you have any siblings and when did you move to Uganda?”
GM: I am from Kisangani in the Congo. My sister Agnes is 14 and goes to HOPE school now. We never fight. I moved to Uganda when I was a baby and don’t remember it.

“What have you been up to since graduating from HOPE Primary School?”
GM: I am looking for Secondary Schools but they are all too expensive. It costs UGS 500,000 ($250.00) a term and there are three terms [in a school year].

“What do you miss most about HOPE?”
GM: I miss games…football. And my favorite subject was History.

“Tell us what a normal day for you is like.”
GM: I wake up and pray in the morning, then mop the house and sweep the compound, make tea, rest, play football and then go home.

“What is the hardest struggle you ever faced and how did you overcome it?”
GM: When I was starting at HOPE school it was a hard struggle to get up and walk to school everyday, for two hours there and two hours back.

“Who is your hero/person you respect most in the world?”
GM: I respect my elders because they take care of me.

“What is your favorite food, music singer and football team?”
GM: Rice and beans, Usher and Manchester United.

“Who do you think will win the World Cup?”
GM: Brazil

Youth Profile of the Week

For our inaugural “Youth Feature of the Week” we chose to interview Hakim, who was there to witness our first legitimate meal we made using a kerosene stove (we both agreed our tuna and cheese during the blackout did not count). We hope you enjoy getting to know and also learning from these children as much as we do! Hopefully this gives our readers more insight into the community we are immersing ourselves in, as well as provide those that donated a look at where their generosity has gone and understand how much it truly provided a child and a community.

Name: Hakim Kafero
Age: 13
Nationality: Ugandan
Grade: P7

“How many are in your family, and where are you from in Uganda Hakim?
HK: There is my mother, father, two sisters and one brother. I did have three sisters but one got sick and died when I was very young. We come from Western Uganda, the Mbarara District. We moved to Ndejje in 2003 and all I remember is that at our home in the West was very old and with big land.

“What are your parent’s careers?”
HK: My mother works at a shop selling fruits, sodas and snacks in front of our home and my father is unemployed, but he used to be a taxi driver.

“Tell us what a normal day for you is like.”
HK: I go to bed late, like 1 AM, and don’t need much sleep, only three hours. I then wake up and dream for two hours. My dreams are crazy and so great! Then I get up and go to Mosque with my family, and then to HOPE school at 7:30. After school I like to play games, especially football.

“ What dream did you have last night?”
HK: In my dream I was a black leopard.

“What are your hopes and dreams after HOPE School?”
HK: I want to go to Secondary School and University. My dream is to be an MP (Member of Parliament) because I want to develop Uganda and other countries. I want to help others because there is too much corruption. And I like to make my own choices. I want to go to USA and Brazil. Uganda will take ten years to develop and take care of my family and in those countries it is more easy to take care of them.

“What is the hardest struggle you’ve ever faced?”
HK: Having to pay school fees.

“How did you overcome that?”
HK: Before my father lost his job he worked hard to get money to pay for my fees.

“Who is your hero or person you respect most in the world?”
HK: My mother because she takes so much care of me.

“What is your favorite food, football player and football team?”
HK: Jack fruit, Frank Lampard and Chelsea.

“Who do you think will win the World Cup this year?”
HK: South Africa!

Settling In

We are starting to fall into a routine here in Ndejje. We’ve finally settled into our place at the Ndejje Calm House and are learning (very slowly) to cook using a pot filled with coals as our oven. Up until today, most dinners have consisted of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, mangoes, ground nuts, which taste and look like peanuts, and LOTS of bananas. I’d say average banana consumption for me is around six a day. Tonight, with Florence’s assistance, we are going to try to cook real Ugandan food for the first time: sweet potatoes with ground nut sauce, onions, and tomatoes.

Today was the first day that we ran games at break time. In Uganda, the long school break is in December and January. Hope school officially starts up again on February 1^st, but Hope has allowed students to come back a week early, if they want. There were about 11 kids at school today, so Stevie and I played a name game, tag, and, of course, some soccer with the kids for an hour. The kids were all very shy at first, but started screaming and having a great time once we started playing.

After break-time games, we decided to decorate the community center. We ran strings across the room and hung lots of the colorful socks donated by the Lee Mt. Vernon Soccer Club, arranging the socks in color combinations to represent the flags of the five nationalities represented at Hope School. I encourage my fellow UC architecture and interior designers to consider using socks in your next project!

Tonight, Stevie and I are going to play soccer on a field close to our home. I accidentally found the game last night when I was trying to find a place to run. Running on roads is not an option. First, the dirt roads are very uneven with ditches and potholes everywhere. Second, boda-bodas (motorcycle taxis), taxi vans, and cars race down the roads, and seem to speed up when ever they see a pedestrian. Third, and possibly the most deterring factor, is all of the attention I would get if I were jogging. Walking on the roads, Stevie and I already draw the attention of every child in town as they stop playing to chant “How are you Wazungu?” I can’t even imagine what kind of crazy looks and shouts I would get if I were jogging.

Anyway, I went to run around the soccer field last night and I found a bunch of guys in their 20s playing soccer. They asked me to play and I happily agreed to. Though they had a whole field, they played pick-up like you would play half-court basketball (there was only one goal, so you had to take the ball to mid-field once you won possession before you could attack.) You scored a goal by hitting the goal post, rather than scoring between the posts. These guys’ accuracy was phenomenal. Despite the pretty severe pitch of the field, rocks, potholes, knee-high grass in some areas, and dirt in others, these guys could nail the goal post from 15 and 20 yards out. Wow!

Tomorrow we will play games at Hope school with the kids, organize and decorate the community center some more, and play some more soccer. This weekend, maybe a rafting trip down the Nile?